So there I am. Standing at the 7-11 with a drink in my hand, cussing the hell out of the low-life that sneaked in that last minute and beat me to the cashier. A closer look would reveal that in actuality it's a poor little maid. She extends her hand to reveal half a KD, & without saying a word the cashier immediately hands her a pack of Kuwait's finest carcinogen. But what strikes me is her demeanor. She seems somewhat ashamed. Which started me thinking: is she buying those cigarettes for some lazy ass-face sitting somewhere drinking redbull and watching 'the game'.. Or is she buying those fags for herself? The obvious answer would be the former. But why would she be ashamed in doing that? Surely she's come to expect the best her job has to offer by now. What's a little trip to the market compared to the day's usual boring routine? At its worst, it's a nice dose of fresh air. So why the shame? Could it be that those cancer sticks are for herself? Could it be that its the one time she feels in control? The only time that one thing will actually listen to her? And by listen I mean burn. And by her I mean.. Her mouth. But that raises yet another question: Why would she be ashamed of buying herself a pack of smokes? Is it against her contract? Does her job require a certain amount of stamina that would deteriorate if she smoked a pack a day? Is there some social stigma that might be attached to her? Like that rebellious maid who smokes. And drinks. And f**ks. But they're just cigarettes! I really can't be sure.
Maybe that's just the way she is.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Numbness
I don't know where to start. But I might as well. This is day 1.
Numbness is a feeling. But it is also a word. Words make you feel what they mean. The word 'cold' makes you shiver. The word 'smile' makes you teeter on the thin line between anger and happiness. So does that mean reading 'numb' makes you numb? But how can you feel numb without being numb? And how does one simulate that he or she is numb? I for one am not a fan of the numb foot, but whose to say that lady across the street does not yearn for that crawling sensation? So that must mean we simulate what that word means to us but not what it was actually intended to mean. But what are words other than a rather haphazard arrangement of awkward shapes? Whose to say what Webster says about 'numb' is what everybody feels when they are in that state. Kind of like, how do you know the way you taste chicken is the way everybody else tastes it? We don't share the same taste buds. Nor the same brains. So let me ask you again, how do you feel when you are numb? The way you are feeling right now? That's exactly what I thought.
Savor the numbness.
Numbness is a feeling. But it is also a word. Words make you feel what they mean. The word 'cold' makes you shiver. The word 'smile' makes you teeter on the thin line between anger and happiness. So does that mean reading 'numb' makes you numb? But how can you feel numb without being numb? And how does one simulate that he or she is numb? I for one am not a fan of the numb foot, but whose to say that lady across the street does not yearn for that crawling sensation? So that must mean we simulate what that word means to us but not what it was actually intended to mean. But what are words other than a rather haphazard arrangement of awkward shapes? Whose to say what Webster says about 'numb' is what everybody feels when they are in that state. Kind of like, how do you know the way you taste chicken is the way everybody else tastes it? We don't share the same taste buds. Nor the same brains. So let me ask you again, how do you feel when you are numb? The way you are feeling right now? That's exactly what I thought.
Savor the numbness.
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